From The Editor: A Firm Foundation
I’ll be honest. I am one short step away from fear most of the time. At any given moment throughout my day there are at least four things poking at my brain or my heart, trying to get me to pay attention to worries and anxiety.
I’m writing: “Am I actually a good writer? Do I really have something to say that people want to hear?”
I’m editing: “Why do I think I’m good enough to tell someone they need to change? Why should my voice have the final say? Am I really educated enough?”
I’m sitting in my office: “Do I really deserve to be here? What if I’m a terrible wife or mother for working full time?”
I’m driving: Atlanta traffic. Plus, my mom died in a car accident… Need I say more?
I’m sitting at home: “Shouldn’t I be exercising? I can’t eat yet, or I’ll get fat and never be able to get out of it.”
Laying in bed: “Did I do enough today? I probably should’ve done more chores. I should have done something creative. I should have been more active and involved. I should have spent more time in intentional relationship with my family and with God.”
I could easily be overwhelmed by all this noise inside my head. I could quickly be overrun by the worry and fear that batter my boundaries, threatening to topple the truths I’ve chosen to build my identity and self-worth upon.
But I choose God. I choose to believe what He says about me. I choose to know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that I am created in His image (Genesis 1:27). That I can trust Him and His plan for my life (Proverbs 3:5-6), and that He has prepared me and placed me on this path, in this specific place, time, family, job role, etc., all for His purpose and His glory.
Most days I can shut the voices down with ease. I can look directly at it, say, “That’s a lie,” and kick it out of my brain. But other times it’s hard. Sometimes I’m tired, I’m having a tough time focusing or figuring something out, and my three-year-old absolutely refuses to listen to me. That’s when the fear and anxiety rise up, take up arms against me, and assail my spirit.
It’s at these moments where the cornerstone of my foundation is exposed: scripture.
When I was a kid, my mother was vehemently against having any media in our home that wasn’t explicitly Christian. This was, admittedly, a bit extreme, but it meant that the only things we could watch or listen to were fundamentally good for us.
I used to listen to the songs from “G.T. and the Halo Express” on repeat to fall asleep at night, and when I’m at my most vulnerable, those scriptures almost immediately begin to play in my mind:
“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise.” (Psalm 56:3-4a CSB).
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV).
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9 NIV).
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27 NIV).
And on, and on they go, filling my mind with peace and truth and comfort, usually as a fully reactional response—no memory dredging needed.
What a gift the foundational truth of scripture is! If you, like me, find your spirit under attack, worries and fears pressing in when you are spiritually and emotionally vulnerable, I would encourage you to strengthen your foundation. Read plenty of scripture. Memorize some key verses, ingraining them so deeply that they will launch themselves in your defense in times of trouble.
Now, excuse me while I listen to scripture songs for kids for the rest of my afternoon!